Wiiiiiiiiiii - Zelda Twilight Princess

Okay so Christmas was great, as usual. My children are wonderful.

The Wii isn't the biggest item, but it's certainly racked up some time (which I can track thanks to the Wii's play-session by play-session accounting of time spent on every game every day, with a grand total).

Maria de Guadalupe got Zelda: Twilight Princess last week. Since I had the week before Christmas off, I wanted to have a chance to play it too. Honestly she loves the game more than I do, and that is because everything is new to her. Much of Zelda: Twilight Princess reminds me of Ocarina of Time. True, there are great new puzzles, far better graphics (from the N64 editions of Zelda, and Wind Waker, which didn't jive with this artist, strangely), but...

But the music horrendous. I have not heard one sample that doesn't sound either bad, involves a 10 second loop (or less, no joke), or like a 10 year old MIDI. I'm sorry, but MIDI technology isn't - that's a leap into anachronism.

Similarly, many of the sound effects are grating. You only hear your sword through the Wii Remote, whose speaker is better designed as an attention-getter, or to echo the sound from the game as in WiiSports, where you'll hear the Tennis Racket hit from your TV speakers and the Wiimote. The horse whinnies every time you spur her, every fucking time, and it's the same sample played either at a higher or lower octave.

Some of the puzzles are timed, which I hate with a passion - let me take time figuring them out, not running the same gauntlet 10 times trying not to fall into lava or reach the door after it's closed - again.

Lastly, Hyrule Field was a HUGE dissappointment after Shadow of the Colossus. I wanted something inspiring, something with huge chasms and grand vistas. Nope. None of that. The game fairly faithfully calls up the terrain layout of the N64 Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and two console generations later, it's just not much to look at or do but race around one Epona (your horse) and run over bad guys for fun.

All that said, I am still playing it, and as my friend Kevin likes to point out, I often complain most about the games I like, because the ones I don't like I complain once and then never pick them up again.