Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Stream of Consciousness about my Family

My wife always says I'm a good father, but I rarely feel like I'm good - just adequate. This is a conversation I had with my friend over Instant Messenger.

David Beoulve: Question bud...

Telnarius: Sure.

David Beoulve: Okay, by my logic... I'm not athletic...

Telnarius: Ok..Dave does no pushups

David Beoulve: I rarely play many activity games with the baby boy. I chase my daughters around and tickle them. I'll throw balls for him.

Actually, that'd be accurate. (I don't do push-ups.)

Telnarius: Ok..Dave is into light activities.

David Beoulve: _I_ don't feel like I'm the greatest father but Alay thinks I'm fine. I can get angry, but I don't punish them angry.

Yes, light but vigorous activities.

Telnarius: where's the question?

David Beoulve: Why does she think I'm a better father than I do? My daughters I consider biased. I can make them cry by being too sharp with them, but I always try to realize on the days I do that, in the moment I do that, and then sit down and talk or hold them - but just the fact that that can happen makes me feel validated that I'm not that great, just passable. Thing that disagrees with that notion is well - the girls are happy, work hard, smile a lot, and are well behaved.

Telnarius: Because you actually spend time with your kids.

David Beoulve: But of course, they're the most interesting thing in my house. That and my lovely Latina.

Telnarius: Does it have to be more than that?

David Beoulve: Oh, so…

But I mean... I feel like spending time with them is just what everyone should do. I feel like because my 2nd daughter (Dulce) is so quiet, I don't talk with her much, but I do spend time with her and she seems to think that's fine...

Telnarius: Just because something might seem small to you, doesn't mean that it is.

David Beoulve: my 9yo (Maria), if I just sat down next to her and didn't talk, that'd be a crime to her.

Telnarius: You spend time being a husband and a father.

David Beoulve: Heh well to be honest, it's butt-kick fun.

Telnarius: It never has to be said more than that.

David Beoulve: (nods)

I feel a little guilty that Alejandrita and Dulce don't show up in my blogs more, but that's what they're like - very laid back. Alejandrita may be an extrovert, but the only time you'd know it is when we have company and my older two retreat and she runs into the center of the living room.

Dulce is very personal. By that I mean, she can just sit with you and be. Maria Alejandra (my wife) is like that (although she's so well educated she can also talk for hours).

It's actually kind of strange, because - you wouldn't think sitting together each doing something, maybe not the same thing, was being together. I also love cuddles, and Dulce specializes in that. I never have to nap alone. Something warm and breathing puts its head on one of my shoulders, if not both of the younger two.

The older one (Maria) does as well, but I think that's partly because she loves her old man, and partly because she's got to claim territory. I've told her, of all of my children, she is the most like Jose Francisco - she was just - born a girl.

But she won't butt in on her younger sisters. She shares.

Jose Francisco, MAYBE he'll lie on my shoulder if his business is going to sleep and he's got a bottle and he wants to get to the business of going to sleep.

But he seems to prefer his mom or his oldest sister to me. No disloyalty felt, I just really think he is a man's boy... I can't teach him this stuff - I'm VERY emotional and empathic. He was just born this way. "I love you dad. Over there." He'll hug me when I come home and want to be picked up, and then he wants out of my lap and runs to go get something.

That's just... Jose Francisco. I wouldn't want him different. He demonstrates his love differently.

Telnarius: By head-butting you in the crotch ;)

David Beoulve: Not yet, but certainly in my head, and also punching me in the upper lip. He's 23 months old, and can do a child's punch. He's not really a child yet as much as a toddler.


And then at 3 years old... he Piledrives Dave ;)

David Beoulve:
Well one can only hope, however unfortunate that'd be for me. He sure loves a challenge, though. We found him jumping on our bed just yesterday, and he climbed to the top bunk bed last week.

Does this post have a point? Maybe, if you can catch it.

Maria Alejandra is sick today, poor dear

Maria Alejandra is sick. I asked her three times if she wanted me to stay home and watch kids for her, but there are two problems:

  1. Maria Alejandra is a Mexican girl, and they don't like to stop working. At least the good ones don't.
  2. Our children are so well behaved that you can leave them to manage themselves for a day.
Bleh. I should have made a command decision to stay home and care for the kids; even being well behaved, the boy is "muy Latino" and Alay worries about him. His sisters are good at corralling him. Sometimes I have to remind him who "Pack Leader" is, but whenever I do he'll fuss (he gets embarrassed when I scold him) a moment and then do what I told him to without further objections.

I think that's fairly behaved, for a baby boy. I want him to listen to me and his mother when he's a teenager. I worry about the fussing part - what will that be like when he's a teenager? But Alay assures me that all of her brothers were like this, it's genetic, and all but one brother out of 6 listen to dad today, and they're grown.

I... cannot say. I know how to raise little girls; I'm still learning with the boy. I love them all.

1:6 now 4:7 (My wins versus Maria's)

Well I beat Maria (my 9yo daughter) twice at lunch yesterday playing Yu-Gi-Oh Nightmare Troubadour for the Nintendo DS, then once more when I got home before trying to make my own deck (rather than use a tournament winning recipe deck from teh Interwebs). The new deck sucks so much! The only thing that competes with its suck is ... Maria's new deck! I won one game, she won the other.

She had no counter-spell cards, no cards that could kill my spells, and neither did I. I did have, however, a deck full of creatures with effects, and a number of permanent spells. Once that worked out for me, the other time we had a long, protracted game because she couldn't break down my spells and I'd locked her into only being able to attack with one creature at a time. She won that one eventually. Bad decks.

So, I couldn't resist - I ordered Yu-Gi-Oh! Spirit Summoner, as the Japanese version has English built in. I'll let y'all know how that is later.