My Etrian Odyssey

For this next bit - sometimes I try to be a funny guy. This is one of those times.

I bought Etrian Odyssey and spent a very long time trying to hack the savegame - the game is gorgeous (see my review) and fun, but also unforgiving and hard. A party-wipe means "start over from the last time you were at the town's inn." Ouch.

My plan was to take one character and make her into a version of "Lord" Benedict, from Final Fantasy Tactics - a character who a faulty PSX 3rd party save card corrupted and suddenly could learn any skill (max it out) as soon as it was available. His level didn't change, but he was the master at anything he could do. It was like having Michael Jordan on your team. He couldn't carry the battle, but man he was awesome.

I did get Skill Points happening with my Protector / Paladin, Madrigal, and maxed a lot of her skills out, even though she's level 5 (now). Basically, my catch for trying to survive a party wipe. Sometimes folks drop, but not Maddy. Oh no, Madrigal's a resourceful gal. Not invincible, but how many level 5's do you know who can do almost every trick in the book? And, to keep the game fun, 98% of the time she either attacks or does Front Defense during combat, and that's it.

I had heard folks complain in the forums about a certain beast on the very 2nd level of the Labyrinth that was wiping parties out just because it could. The Ragealope. Some kind of angry Antelope or some such rubbish. I figured folks were diving in early.

Baring this in mind, I can tell you ... WITH ALL THE CERTAINTY IN HEAVEN ... with the very assurance that ON DAY, Jesus Christ will come again and judge the living and the dead... with this level of assuradness, I... assure you...

It is NOT the "Ragealope".

It is the "RAPEalope".

I seek the thing out with my party - Maddy's got Stalker up so nothing runs into us and wears us down. Everyone's 5th level. Standard party: Fighter, Paladin, Ranger, Cleric, Mage. Or is that Gay Germanic Word for Fighter (Landsknecht), Call it What it is Paladin (Protector), Rangers do More Than Survive (Survivalist), Clerics Without Gods (Medics), and Mages Without Magic (Alchemist)?

Anyway.

The battle starts and I have Maddy put up a frontal defense, and tell Pharra (my fighter) to Cleave, Glen (my ranger) to haste the party, Lia (my cleric) to brace herself, and Vera, her sister (my mage) to use Volt (a nice lightning attack).

Rapealope is MAD. Rapealope CONFUSES puny Ranger and Mage.

I think "Oh dear." I recalled in FF7 how my party of "rape the enemy and steal their candy" was annihilated by creatures who just kept casting confusion on them.

Rapealope is ANGRY. Rapealope hits ignorant intrudors for massive damage.

Lia (cleric) tries to remove status ailments, but it doesn't work on confusion. Glen (ranger) dies horribly, her guts still entangled on the beast's antlers. Pharra (fighter) uses Cleave again, while Vera (mage) casts more Volt. Maddy attacks. I have 4 out of 5 characters left.

Rapealope is DISPLEASED. Rapealope confuses pitiful Paladin and Mage.

Vera (mage) dies in a similar fashion to Glen (ranger). Pharra takes another stab at the beast. Lia tries to heal folks.

Maddy comes out of her daze in time to look around and sees only she, Lia (cleric) and Pharra (fighter) are up. She cheats. She breaks an oath and uses Smite. Calling upon her forbidden Goddess, she smashes the Ragealope. I have 3 out of 5 characters left.

Rapealope is AMUSED. Rapealope kills puny Cleric, and knocks Fighter silly.

I have 2 out of 5 characters left. With Pharra almost dead, and the Ragealope badly injured but still powerful, Madrigal flees to the first floor and takes Pharra and the bodies with her.

And that, my fellow, was my encounter, with the Rapealope.